Last night was our kick off event for our circle at church. We are a welcoming group of women who do verious things in and around our communities. Some are for fellowship and some are for outreach and service. We had a chance to meet some new women who wanted to join.
I sat down at the table with two new friends and three friends that I have known for almost 40 years. As I put my plate down with a very small salad and a partial cup of fish soup, my friend spoke out about the scant offerings. I looked across the table to one new friend and said I weighed over 360 pounds at one time. No one really knew how big I was because they thought I was in the 200s. The cat was out of the bag! Basically, this did not become a topic of conversation, I would have told of my struggles and possibly much more. I say my new friend but once hearing her name, I recalled how my daughter went to a prom with her son more than 20 years ago. We had spoken about this in our church hall after her and her husband became members. The other woman and I have had some small chats but only to learn that she had been in the area for a year following the sudden death of her husband. Her daughter and family live near.
I have been eating out with several friends for more than a year after church. Some of them have lost their husbands through death and divorce. It is just a nice way to keep connected with women that I have known for 40 years. We have tried breakfast restaurants as well as simple places. We seem to like Panera's which opend a new restaurant close to church. It is where there is a choice of salad or soup.
Yet since the church school year started up again and our youth group meetings begin at 12, I had not been able to attend these social events. I wanted to tell you this because the woman who made the statement always attends these lunches. We even have called ourselves the SUMC Lunch Bunch. It has included men at times who find themselves in need of sustanence.
My dear friend is very outspoken. In fact, I never know what she will say next. She has caught me off guard many times. She lead Weigh Down Workshop Program with her husband which I attended and did very well following the program. I was amazed at her remarks. She had us all go up front of our congregation and talked about how we had spent 12 weeks on this Biblically based weight loss program. I did not know that she would say that I had lost 55 pounds with this program.
So, you see that I have come a long way since that time. I let it run to its conclusion. I made a statement to clarify why I was eating such a small portion.
Is it one thing to tell to the larger community what your issues are with weight and eating? Is it easier to discuss it with a small group?
In this social setting the conversation did not go further. At times, people have said that they have lost weight and need some advice. Mostly, I feel like the food police have gone on to other people. In fact, other than asking me if I was going to take leftovers home. It usually is not a point of conversation as to what I eat.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Honey Pot Hill Orchards
My weekend was very full with my youngest grandchildren visiting overnight. I have been mentoring with our youth group since last year. It was something that called to me again.
My love of children has lead me to teach Sunday School, work on Education Commission in my church, be Sunday School Superintendent, teach Vacation Bible School, work at a Christian Camp while on vacation from my job, work with youth while my older daughters were toddlers, work with youth when my youngest daughter was in youth group, do family daycare, become a foster parent as well as Advent Workshop crafts for all generations for many years. I have worked with children most of my life. My being the oldest in our family perhaps has been the source of this talent working with children.
What is your birth order? How do you relate to children and youth?
Apple picking is a highlight every fall. It is wonderful that we can get out in the sunshine. There have been years that it has been a chilly day. There are many apple orchards close to our home. It is become a big business to offer picking. We arrived just past noon and had little lines ahead of us. As we left, there were many many cars filling the parking lots. It is a great activity for young and old. I heard and saw many interactions with families and friends.
I am looking forward to more fun fall events. Perhaps a hike is in the offering in the future. I know that on Saturday our youth group will be going into the Museum of Science to view the Dead Sea Scrolls. It will be an awesome exhibit to view. I do not expect to be allowed to photo the exhibit.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
My Abusive Parents, My Fears, My Insomnia and My Obesity
Please read this article from Slate Magazine. What Do Grown Children Owe Their Terrible, Abusive Parents? http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.html?utm_source=tw&utm_medium=sm&utm_campaign=button_chunky via @slate
My parents have died. My dad died suddenly when he was 49 back in 1975. That there was no way to confront him as I needed to is not lost on me. I was pregnant with my second baby. He was the father of a little girl from his second marriage.
My mother had a lingering cancer and passed last year. My uncle had challenged all the family members to "step up and help" my mother. It was abrupt and came out of nowhere as far as I was concerned. I learned something from my aunt and later my cousin that I did not know. I have a Youtube channel, AwesomeForever where I show how my mom's apartment was when I went down to Macon GA where she lived next door to my aunt. It was my aunt's building and mom had lived there for many years. My mom was sick and in the hospital. My aunt and uncle must have had a serious discussion about how would my mom live in the apartment when released from the hospital. My aunt was sick with cancer again. She knew that she was not strong enough to care for my mom. I spent a good two hours talking to my aunt. I learned that my mom was a hoarder. Her apartment was covered with so much stuff that she would come out and meet my aunt instead of letting my aunt come up and see the apartment in it's disgraceful state.
Why did this happen? How was it that we were not told sooner? I was used to my mother's rationalizations. I could not sway her to do something that she did not want to do. She had often been sick and would not follow up with a doctor's visit until she was so sick she ended up being hospitalized. We had lost touch over the Internet when all the stuff encompassed the space where she would have sat down to the computer. It was hard to talk with mom because she had needed hearing aids for years and would not get them. She had barely any space to get around. Mom needed to see the phone light to know it was ringing.
I think my aunt believed my mom when she said she would sell some of her nice things. She would help pay her back for the car and all the utilities that my aunt had paid for mom over the years. My aunt was still working at the school where she had been a kindergarten teacher as a tutor and aid in the office. It was not a lot of money. She sacrificed to provide for my mom.
I am really not sure why I bring this up now. It is late on a Sunday so I am reflecting on what was said to me last week. We were talking of what we did back in the summer of 1963. One of the members of our Bible Study group was going to Washington DC for the March on Washington 50. I knew that I was too young to go to DC in 1963. I was too young. I knew that I had a lot of heartache that year. I spoke of my mother leaving home ten days before I turned sixteen. How I had to cook and carry on helping my six siblings. How my parents had constantly argued. How a discussion about what went on in DC on the national level sparked the reminder of the pain of that summer is beyond me. Did you forgive them, I was asked?
How can I answer this question quickly as I am more prone to long answers as I speak I hear what I say. I add to what I say as I remember. Let's just say that there are many memories of abuse from lack of care to out and out abuse. We were stood in a line and asked to admit to some misdemeanor. I remember feeling that I had no answer that would suffice to give my father. Who had done what he viewed as wrong? I am empathetic person and would suffer for my sister or brothers in the punishment that would be handed out. Did you ever stand in the corner? We had to stand in the corner with a leg up! Oh, I often had more punishments added to the original one. I fell asleep standing up. When we moved to Sudbury, we had arrived in the winter, one punishment was walking around the house in the winter until we could come back in.
Really trying to remember other punishments beyond being pushed into the ladder for the bunk bed marked by a dent on my eyebrow line or pushed down the cellar stairs. We knew the fear of getting up at night when there were angry confrontations in the hallway.
How did I develop a fear of heights, I remember asking my mother? I asked her many times about the time I was carried down the sidewalk to a waiting ambulance. She said it did not happen. This nightmare persisted for many years beyond the time of her leaving all of us. Why is it that I have insomnia? I could be awakened by my parents arguments.
Yes, I have been away from that situation for many years. I felt that the early years were gone. I was over the abuse of my childhood. How then did I become obese? How did the eating get out of hand? Was it part of my makeup to turn to food? Our childhood was not marked with abundance of food. It was a lack of care.
Posting My ObesityHelp My Journey Answers
I wrote the statements below to help me remember how I felt leading up to gastric bypass surgery. It was not an easy task answering the questions posed on the ObesityHelp website. You have to look deeply into your being to answer some of the questions. Of course, you are putting yourself out there for others to read. Is it important to you to help others? I think it is in our nature. It also helps us to clarify where you were and how you were feeling prior to surgery and through it. Weight loss surgery reconstructs your stomach. You have to continue to do the work that was started by the operation. It is a lifelong task.
I went to the Obesity Help conference in Chicago a year after my surgery. I know I was thinking that I had to stay connected to people who had had surgery. In seeing people who have had surgery face to face and sharing we learn so much. The meet and greets around the country that I have attended have been filled with fun, adventure and learning. I appreciate that I found a support system in the weight loss community online on YouTube and Facebook as well as Sparkpeople, BariatricTV, Thinnertimes as well as some other websites that are escaping my memory right now. In Phoenix, at the Obesity Action Coalition Convention, one woman told me that she found inspiration from my Sparkpeople interaction with her years ago. I am going to another ObesityHelp Conference October 4-5 2013 in Anaheim CA.
Obesity & Me
Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I felt that my excess weight would always be a part of me. I struggled to keep a happy face when I heard comments from strangers and friends about my excess weight. I would promise myself each day to lose weight. Yet, sometimes at night the promise forgotten I would search for that roll of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies to eat one or two which would morph into eating every single one. I would try to stop myself by freezing the cookies. It did not help. When I found a new diet I relished in the weight loss only to rebound when the spark of newness wore off. I spent hours pouring over weight loss magazines or cook books just to lose interest in cooking. I would cook and freeze recipes. They would be there in my freezer waiting to eat. Yet, I chose the easy way out many times by going out to supper as it was late, I was tired from a long day, it was on the way home, no mess at the end of the meal at home...each and every excuse you could come up with spurred me on to eating out. I had to stop this yo yo dieting, I knew. I started tracking each food item that I ate. I bought a calorie count book that even had the common restaurant food items listed. I put everything down. I even tracked my water intake. What more did I have to do? I spoke with a nutritionist and made several appointments. She would ask me what I was doing? She would suggest options. I felt that it was good to see her, and be weighed in. It was more accountable than some other plans because this went on a permanent record.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
It was affecting my health and well being to be overweight. My blood pressure rose. At first, I had been proud of my low blood pressure. I thought it was good. I thought it was only high when I was sick.I was wrong. Yet, it cause me some health issues and left permanent problems with my legs.My legs are discolored where the blood pooled beneath the skin and could not rise back to my heart. I was prediabetic and feeling the bad affects. It was the constant forgetting of things that I should know that made me realize I had a sugar high that I needed to come down from to help me be connected to the world. I had sleep apnea that was on the bi-pap level of 17 intake and 11 out. I was lowered to 6 on the c-pap. I think the sleep apnea is part of our family genetics as I can tell you stories of great grandmother not sleeping well, mom would be up at all hours like me, and my sister who is on a c-pap.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
Fit places, and not worry about breaking a chair! I did that at a friend's home once.
How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?
My sister had the surgery five years ago in November. My sister has done well. Next, my cousin had the surgery four years ago in January. I was wondering if I could lose weight and sustain the loss if I chose the surgery. I wanted it to work. I kept reading about the surgery in the newspapers all I saw were negative comments. I followed along with that consensus thinking that it may not be right for me. Yet, I still wanted to know where I could have it done. I wondered if I should ask my doctor, and what her reaction would be. It had not been suggested as an option. I went from weight in the 200s to weight in the 300s. I needed to lose more than two hundred pounds at my highest weight. Could I find a way out of the ever increasing weight gain? Would it help me? Would I be a good statistic or would I die from the procedure? I needed to do a lot of research.
Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?
I had been going to the doctor for weight problems for quite a few years. I had it documented that I had tried different methods. I had been exercising and not losing. I feel that the insurance approval following the consultation with my surgeon was quick. He had a form that we filled out that had us list our attempts and regains. When I went for the consultation, I met with a psychologist, dietitian, and nurse all on the same day. I found that very convenient. I had been losing weight and had my weight chart from the Primary Care Physician with me to add to my file. It showed the dips and the mountains... I think the documentation is the most important step for the insurance company. Try to get this information down on paper so that you will not forget it.
What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?
By the time, I saw the surgeon I had researched the operation I wanted on ObesityHelp.com I had seen many YouTube videos posted by people who had RNY surgery, I had even seen a video of an actual operation, and had read books on the subject. I felt I was well prepared. That is the important part that I want you to know. Just going in with your excess weight will not be enough. It helps to be prepared. It helps to know what the procedure will be and to have questions written down ahead of time. It helps to know what your co-morbidities are and ask how the surgery will change them. It is helpful to bring questions. It will be an emotional time when you make the decision to have RY surgery. Let the feeling wash over you and live in the knowledge that you will succeed. It will be possible to be a healthier weight. It will subtract from your real age...so that you are younger than your age. Yes, you will succeed. Blessings to you as you chose weight loss surgery.
What made you finally decide to have the surgery?
I had felt that I was doing well losing weight but did not want to rebound. I came to the decision after many years of excess weight. I went places but could not keep up with the other because my knees were hurting so much. I remember thinking if only I could stop and sit down. I went on a trip to England. We walked all over but I kept being the slow one. Three years later, we went to Scotland. It was suggested that I cross a bridge and wait for the others to go the long way around where we would meet up again. I wanted to be part of the group that went around. I always felt a pressing need to use the toilet because my bladder was compromised by the excess weight. My friends waited for me at intersections yet when I arrived off we would go crossing the street. I had to take a cab back after supper. So, though, I wanted to be part of the group and to chose another activity I would go back to the room to read. It was a sobering thought that I could not keep up with some who were twenty years older than me.
How did you decide which proceedure to have?
I had decided that RNY was the best type of surgery as I felt that I had the disease of eating too much. I wanted it permanently corrected. I felt that I would be best served with the method I chose. I knew the surgeon had an excellent reputation, and felt confident in his abilities. I knew the hospital was excellent. They had learned that the hospital had over-sized beds for the weight I carried on my body. I knew that the nursing staff was great.
What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?
I had fears that were alleviated with my research. I know my family had fears. Yet, I explained that it was a necessary surgery as I would surely die sooner if I did not have the surgery. I knew that dying was always an option but felt that the surgeon and the support staff who had me in their hands were excellent. Fears are part of our make up as humans. It is not easy to dispel fears. I have a fear of heights and an open stairway frightens me initially. Yet, I take the stairs as it leads me to where I need to go. Take the stairs. Lead yourself to better health.
How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?
Many people who knew of my struggle to lose weight cheered me on as the weight dropped in my year before the surgery. Many of these same people asked me why since I was successful would I chose surgery. I had people asking me the day before the surgery if I was still going through with it. At that point, I felt calm and at peace with my decision. I said that the surgery would lead me to a healthy weight. It would continue the work that God was already doing in me. I have the best friends who comment on how well I look. I am listened to as I tell my tale of losing weight. In most cases, the joy I see on my friends face reflect their love of me. I can communicate with those who give the comments that they would not take this step. I can say, it was right for me. I know that my healthy approach to eating now is seen by many. I feel bolder now that I am smaller. Is that a contradiction. Life is good.
How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?
I did not tell the boss why I had the surgery. I just had to put in the necessary paperwork for the weeks I chose to recuperate. I took off seven weeks. I was going to take off just six weeks. I had my surgery in the winter. I was glad not to have to go out in the ice, and snow. I thought that was a great time to recuperate. I chose Walk Away the Pounds that was free on my cable channel because I could not walk outside. I took an extra week off because it was school vacation week for my grandchildren. I wanted to be part of the joy of that week. I could keep up with them better.
What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?
My stay was longer than some. I was there from early in the morning on Thursday until Sunday afternoon. I had a bad reaction to the protein drink. I also had some blood pressure issues, and a slight fever on Friday. I was initially placed in a semi private room. The other patient had emotional issues, and was constantly having the doctor and nurses come into the room. I already had sleep issues, and told the nurse on duty that I felt I needed something not for pain but to sleep. Well, she found an empty private room that she made ready for me. I went to that room at midnight. Everything was transferred from the phone system so that I would get my calls from friends. I was all set to get sleep at midnight. It was a tough situation. I was so pleased for the outcome. You are constantly monitored for well being check ups. It is only small naps that you will get. I brought a nightgown, robe, and slippers for my walks in the corridor. I did not want to expose myself to drafts. I did have the IV trolley to contend with and the catheter bag to carry along as I strolled. I had several magazines and a book that I was well into to read. I was tired and could not break into a new book in that setting. I brought a note book and pen. I did not bring my own pillow but do recommend that you have one to hug for the ride home. Your abdomen muscles will notice all the potholes and rough spots on the ride. I brought my own shampoo and facial cleanser. I found that I could only have sponge baths in the hospital. I was glad I brought my sense of dignity. You have so many who see the underside of your clothing! I did not have a size larger pair of pants to wear home. My pants were stretchy but were still too tight with the water gain from the IV fluids.
Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?
I had no pain from the surgery. I had started to walk the evening of the surgery. I would have been walking sooner yet the other patient was using up my nurses time. I was able to get moving with the help of a nursing assistant once I made my wishes known. I already stated that I did have an initial intolerance to the protein drink, high blood pressure, and stayed an extra day. I had a huge gas bubble that passed through my system while I had company. It did not cause me embarrassment though. I also had a bout with diarrhea that I was unable to get to the toilet in time. It was embarrassing to say the least. It was treated with dignity by the personal assistant.
In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?
I wished that I had a sooner surgery date, I supposed it would take a long time. I was told of the date in October less than a week after my consultation. Yet, because it was following the holiday season, I thought that was the best time. I did not have any anxiety over the surgery. I just hoped that I would be a good candidate following the pre-surgical tests. My sister and cousin had had gall bladder surgery. I was wondering if I would need it. I was given an ultrasound that showed I had a healthy gall bladder. My RNY surgeon would have removed my gall bladder had I needed it. I kept on researching this surgery. I know I stayed up late some nights online. It was part of my coping mechanism.
Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?
I was happy to be out of the hospital and getting on with my life. I ate small portions. I had prepared a pureed version of my favorite soup that I froze in an ice cube tray. I kept putting things away in the fridge that were tiny. You need tiny containers. It was easy to follow the surgeon's instructions as you know that you just had major surgery. I would have bursts of energy and want to tackle huge projects only to have the energy dissipate. I was glad that my husband was able to stay home the first week. He helped my in my need to purge the cabinets, closets and brought the salvageable goods to St Vincent de Paul. It was the first of many visits to give away clothes that I had under grown. My friend offered to take me out. I knew that I only had a certain amount of energy, and time away from my water. I did let the visit to the store drain me. It was tiring just poking around a store in the first few weeks.
How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)
I went to a hospital that is twenty minutes away as the crow flies. I have a support system in that there are twice weekly seminars. I love this about the hospital. My surgeon or his partner will always be at the seminars. I have grown to love the psychologist who presents topics as well as the different WLS post ops who tell of their experiences and answer questions.
Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.
The first four weeks, and some of the next few weeks, I ate pureed foods. I even had baby food turkey which surprisingly tasted good. My first intolerance to milk lead me to drink soy milk. It was tasty. I made my own non sugar added applesauce and pear sauce. I had pureed soups that I had previously made. I did not experiment often as I found things that worked and stuck to them. I had issues with egg beaters feeling heavy on my pouch. I also had issues with vomiting of chicken. I knew I was eating slowly so I stayed away from these foods for months. I was just able to eat chicken successfully twice last week.
What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?
I was a burst of energy and then fizzed out. I went to the treadmill to have only four minutes as a struggle on the level...it was a comeuppance. I am more active now.
What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?
I take a multivitamin, B12, and calcium. I took iron but it caused me to be constipated. My iron is now just in my multivitamin and foods.
What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?
I did not feel that I had many instances of dumping. I eat well. Yet, I do vomit. Though, not in the last three months. I am a year out. I have felt uncomfortable. I can eat a prune or two but three are too much. I did not lose my hair. I was taking Biotin for most of the first 8 months. I only have some nausea but I think it is when the sugar level is high based on the amount of food. I know that I cannot tolerate fat. I tried Chinese food only to learn not to go there!
What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?
I am trying to think of an answer to this question. Let me see if I can get back to you on this question.
What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?
I can go twice a week to a support group situation. Many people attend. I would say sometimes there are more than 50 people in attendance. It is very helpful. I also feel I can help with my remarks.
What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?
My scars are tiny. Yes, I did not expect anything large. The biggest one is three quarters of an inch.
Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.
I have had many plateaus. I feel that if I do not eat the amount of protein I do plateau. I find that the days where I feel the meat is stuck are the days I do not lose.
Do you notice people treating you any differently now?
Yes, if you can say that clerks come up to you to wait on you in stores is a plus. My co-workers who had not found time to talk to me often will make an opportunity to compliment me.
I went to the Obesity Help conference in Chicago a year after my surgery. I know I was thinking that I had to stay connected to people who had had surgery. In seeing people who have had surgery face to face and sharing we learn so much. The meet and greets around the country that I have attended have been filled with fun, adventure and learning. I appreciate that I found a support system in the weight loss community online on YouTube and Facebook as well as Sparkpeople, BariatricTV, Thinnertimes as well as some other websites that are escaping my memory right now. In Phoenix, at the Obesity Action Coalition Convention, one woman told me that she found inspiration from my Sparkpeople interaction with her years ago. I am going to another ObesityHelp Conference October 4-5 2013 in Anaheim CA.
Obesity & Me
Describe your behavioral and emotional battle with weight control before learning about bariatric surgery.
I felt that my excess weight would always be a part of me. I struggled to keep a happy face when I heard comments from strangers and friends about my excess weight. I would promise myself each day to lose weight. Yet, sometimes at night the promise forgotten I would search for that roll of Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies to eat one or two which would morph into eating every single one. I would try to stop myself by freezing the cookies. It did not help. When I found a new diet I relished in the weight loss only to rebound when the spark of newness wore off. I spent hours pouring over weight loss magazines or cook books just to lose interest in cooking. I would cook and freeze recipes. They would be there in my freezer waiting to eat. Yet, I chose the easy way out many times by going out to supper as it was late, I was tired from a long day, it was on the way home, no mess at the end of the meal at home...each and every excuse you could come up with spurred me on to eating out. I had to stop this yo yo dieting, I knew. I started tracking each food item that I ate. I bought a calorie count book that even had the common restaurant food items listed. I put everything down. I even tracked my water intake. What more did I have to do? I spoke with a nutritionist and made several appointments. She would ask me what I was doing? She would suggest options. I felt that it was good to see her, and be weighed in. It was more accountable than some other plans because this went on a permanent record.
What was (is) the worst thing about being overweight?
It was affecting my health and well being to be overweight. My blood pressure rose. At first, I had been proud of my low blood pressure. I thought it was good. I thought it was only high when I was sick.I was wrong. Yet, it cause me some health issues and left permanent problems with my legs.My legs are discolored where the blood pooled beneath the skin and could not rise back to my heart. I was prediabetic and feeling the bad affects. It was the constant forgetting of things that I should know that made me realize I had a sugar high that I needed to come down from to help me be connected to the world. I had sleep apnea that was on the bi-pap level of 17 intake and 11 out. I was lowered to 6 on the c-pap. I think the sleep apnea is part of our family genetics as I can tell you stories of great grandmother not sleeping well, mom would be up at all hours like me, and my sister who is on a c-pap.
If you have had weight loss surgery already, what things do you most enjoy doing now that you weren't able to do before?
Fit places, and not worry about breaking a chair! I did that at a friend's home once.
How did you first find out about bariatric surgery and what were your initial impressions of it?
My sister had the surgery five years ago in November. My sister has done well. Next, my cousin had the surgery four years ago in January. I was wondering if I could lose weight and sustain the loss if I chose the surgery. I wanted it to work. I kept reading about the surgery in the newspapers all I saw were negative comments. I followed along with that consensus thinking that it may not be right for me. Yet, I still wanted to know where I could have it done. I wondered if I should ask my doctor, and what her reaction would be. It had not been suggested as an option. I went from weight in the 200s to weight in the 300s. I needed to lose more than two hundred pounds at my highest weight. Could I find a way out of the ever increasing weight gain? Would it help me? Would I be a good statistic or would I die from the procedure? I needed to do a lot of research.
Describe your experience with getting insurance approval for surgery. What advice, if any, do you have for other people in this stage?
I had been going to the doctor for weight problems for quite a few years. I had it documented that I had tried different methods. I had been exercising and not losing. I feel that the insurance approval following the consultation with my surgeon was quick. He had a form that we filled out that had us list our attempts and regains. When I went for the consultation, I met with a psychologist, dietitian, and nurse all on the same day. I found that very convenient. I had been losing weight and had my weight chart from the Primary Care Physician with me to add to my file. It showed the dips and the mountains... I think the documentation is the most important step for the insurance company. Try to get this information down on paper so that you will not forget it.
What was your first visit with your surgeon like? How can people get the most out of this meeting?
By the time, I saw the surgeon I had researched the operation I wanted on ObesityHelp.com I had seen many YouTube videos posted by people who had RNY surgery, I had even seen a video of an actual operation, and had read books on the subject. I felt I was well prepared. That is the important part that I want you to know. Just going in with your excess weight will not be enough. It helps to be prepared. It helps to know what the procedure will be and to have questions written down ahead of time. It helps to know what your co-morbidities are and ask how the surgery will change them. It is helpful to bring questions. It will be an emotional time when you make the decision to have RY surgery. Let the feeling wash over you and live in the knowledge that you will succeed. It will be possible to be a healthier weight. It will subtract from your real age...so that you are younger than your age. Yes, you will succeed. Blessings to you as you chose weight loss surgery.
What made you finally decide to have the surgery?
I had felt that I was doing well losing weight but did not want to rebound. I came to the decision after many years of excess weight. I went places but could not keep up with the other because my knees were hurting so much. I remember thinking if only I could stop and sit down. I went on a trip to England. We walked all over but I kept being the slow one. Three years later, we went to Scotland. It was suggested that I cross a bridge and wait for the others to go the long way around where we would meet up again. I wanted to be part of the group that went around. I always felt a pressing need to use the toilet because my bladder was compromised by the excess weight. My friends waited for me at intersections yet when I arrived off we would go crossing the street. I had to take a cab back after supper. So, though, I wanted to be part of the group and to chose another activity I would go back to the room to read. It was a sobering thought that I could not keep up with some who were twenty years older than me.
How did you decide which proceedure to have?
I had decided that RNY was the best type of surgery as I felt that I had the disease of eating too much. I wanted it permanently corrected. I felt that I would be best served with the method I chose. I knew the surgeon had an excellent reputation, and felt confident in his abilities. I knew the hospital was excellent. They had learned that the hospital had over-sized beds for the weight I carried on my body. I knew that the nursing staff was great.
What fears did you have about having complications or even dying from from the surgery, and what would you tell other people having the same fears now?
I had fears that were alleviated with my research. I know my family had fears. Yet, I explained that it was a necessary surgery as I would surely die sooner if I did not have the surgery. I knew that dying was always an option but felt that the surgeon and the support staff who had me in their hands were excellent. Fears are part of our make up as humans. It is not easy to dispel fears. I have a fear of heights and an open stairway frightens me initially. Yet, I take the stairs as it leads me to where I need to go. Take the stairs. Lead yourself to better health.
How did your family and friends react to your decision? Would you have communicated anything differently if you could now? How supportive were they after your surgery?
Many people who knew of my struggle to lose weight cheered me on as the weight dropped in my year before the surgery. Many of these same people asked me why since I was successful would I chose surgery. I had people asking me the day before the surgery if I was still going through with it. At that point, I felt calm and at peace with my decision. I said that the surgery would lead me to a healthy weight. It would continue the work that God was already doing in me. I have the best friends who comment on how well I look. I am listened to as I tell my tale of losing weight. In most cases, the joy I see on my friends face reflect their love of me. I can communicate with those who give the comments that they would not take this step. I can say, it was right for me. I know that my healthy approach to eating now is seen by many. I feel bolder now that I am smaller. Is that a contradiction. Life is good.
How did your employer/supervisor react to your decision? What did you tell him/her? How long were you out of work?
I did not tell the boss why I had the surgery. I just had to put in the necessary paperwork for the weeks I chose to recuperate. I took off seven weeks. I was going to take off just six weeks. I had my surgery in the winter. I was glad not to have to go out in the ice, and snow. I thought that was a great time to recuperate. I chose Walk Away the Pounds that was free on my cable channel because I could not walk outside. I took an extra week off because it was school vacation week for my grandchildren. I wanted to be part of the joy of that week. I could keep up with them better.
What was your stay in the hospital like? How long where you there? What things are most important to bring?
My stay was longer than some. I was there from early in the morning on Thursday until Sunday afternoon. I had a bad reaction to the protein drink. I also had some blood pressure issues, and a slight fever on Friday. I was initially placed in a semi private room. The other patient had emotional issues, and was constantly having the doctor and nurses come into the room. I already had sleep issues, and told the nurse on duty that I felt I needed something not for pain but to sleep. Well, she found an empty private room that she made ready for me. I went to that room at midnight. Everything was transferred from the phone system so that I would get my calls from friends. I was all set to get sleep at midnight. It was a tough situation. I was so pleased for the outcome. You are constantly monitored for well being check ups. It is only small naps that you will get. I brought a nightgown, robe, and slippers for my walks in the corridor. I did not want to expose myself to drafts. I did have the IV trolley to contend with and the catheter bag to carry along as I strolled. I had several magazines and a book that I was well into to read. I was tired and could not break into a new book in that setting. I brought a note book and pen. I did not bring my own pillow but do recommend that you have one to hug for the ride home. Your abdomen muscles will notice all the potholes and rough spots on the ride. I brought my own shampoo and facial cleanser. I found that I could only have sponge baths in the hospital. I was glad I brought my sense of dignity. You have so many who see the underside of your clothing! I did not have a size larger pair of pants to wear home. My pants were stretchy but were still too tight with the water gain from the IV fluids.
Did you have any complications from the surgery? If so, how did you deal with them?
I had no pain from the surgery. I had started to walk the evening of the surgery. I would have been walking sooner yet the other patient was using up my nurses time. I was able to get moving with the help of a nursing assistant once I made my wishes known. I already stated that I did have an initial intolerance to the protein drink, high blood pressure, and stayed an extra day. I had a huge gas bubble that passed through my system while I had company. It did not cause me embarrassment though. I also had a bout with diarrhea that I was unable to get to the toilet in time. It was embarrassing to say the least. It was treated with dignity by the personal assistant.
In the weeks after you got your surgery date, how did you feel? How did you cope with any anxiety you might have felt?
I wished that I had a sooner surgery date, I supposed it would take a long time. I was told of the date in October less than a week after my consultation. Yet, because it was following the holiday season, I thought that was the best time. I did not have any anxiety over the surgery. I just hoped that I would be a good candidate following the pre-surgical tests. My sister and cousin had had gall bladder surgery. I was wondering if I would need it. I was given an ultrasound that showed I had a healthy gall bladder. My RNY surgeon would have removed my gall bladder had I needed it. I kept on researching this surgery. I know I stayed up late some nights online. It was part of my coping mechanism.
Describe your first few weeks home from the hospital. What should people expect from this period?
I was happy to be out of the hospital and getting on with my life. I ate small portions. I had prepared a pureed version of my favorite soup that I froze in an ice cube tray. I kept putting things away in the fridge that were tiny. You need tiny containers. It was easy to follow the surgeon's instructions as you know that you just had major surgery. I would have bursts of energy and want to tackle huge projects only to have the energy dissipate. I was glad that my husband was able to stay home the first week. He helped my in my need to purge the cabinets, closets and brought the salvageable goods to St Vincent de Paul. It was the first of many visits to give away clothes that I had under grown. My friend offered to take me out. I knew that I only had a certain amount of energy, and time away from my water. I did let the visit to the store drain me. It was tiring just poking around a store in the first few weeks.
How far did you travel to have your surgery? (If far, how did this affect your aftercare?)
I went to a hospital that is twenty minutes away as the crow flies. I have a support system in that there are twice weekly seminars. I love this about the hospital. My surgeon or his partner will always be at the seminars. I have grown to love the psychologist who presents topics as well as the different WLS post ops who tell of their experiences and answer questions.
Please describe in detail what things you could and couldn't eat in the weeks and months following surgery. What foods have been off limits? Please explain how your dietary tolerance changed week-by-week, and then month-by-month since surgery.
The first four weeks, and some of the next few weeks, I ate pureed foods. I even had baby food turkey which surprisingly tasted good. My first intolerance to milk lead me to drink soy milk. It was tasty. I made my own non sugar added applesauce and pear sauce. I had pureed soups that I had previously made. I did not experiment often as I found things that worked and stuck to them. I had issues with egg beaters feeling heavy on my pouch. I also had issues with vomiting of chicken. I knew I was eating slowly so I stayed away from these foods for months. I was just able to eat chicken successfully twice last week.
What was your actvity level in the days and weeks after surgery?
I was a burst of energy and then fizzed out. I went to the treadmill to have only four minutes as a struggle on the level...it was a comeuppance. I am more active now.
What vitamins and/or dietary supplements have you taken since your surgery?
I take a multivitamin, B12, and calcium. I took iron but it caused me to be constipated. My iron is now just in my multivitamin and foods.
What side effects (nausea, vomiting, sleep disturbace, dumping, hair loss etc.) were worse for you? For how long after surgery did they persist? How did you cope with them?
I did not feel that I had many instances of dumping. I eat well. Yet, I do vomit. Though, not in the last three months. I am a year out. I have felt uncomfortable. I can eat a prune or two but three are too much. I did not lose my hair. I was taking Biotin for most of the first 8 months. I only have some nausea but I think it is when the sugar level is high based on the amount of food. I know that I cannot tolerate fat. I tried Chinese food only to learn not to go there!
What was the worst part about the entire bariatric surgery process?
I am trying to think of an answer to this question. Let me see if I can get back to you on this question.
What aftercare support group/program do you have? How helpful/important is this?
I can go twice a week to a support group situation. Many people attend. I would say sometimes there are more than 50 people in attendance. It is very helpful. I also feel I can help with my remarks.
What is your scar like? Is this what you expected?
My scars are tiny. Yes, I did not expect anything large. The biggest one is three quarters of an inch.
Please describe any plateau experiences you have had since surgery.
I have had many plateaus. I feel that if I do not eat the amount of protein I do plateau. I find that the days where I feel the meat is stuck are the days I do not lose.
Do you notice people treating you any differently now?
Yes, if you can say that clerks come up to you to wait on you in stores is a plus. My co-workers who had not found time to talk to me often will make an opportunity to compliment me.
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