Supportive Community

I am encouraged by many in this life. When I was raising my children into their teen years, I had support through my church with a monthly group that was called Mutual Ministries. It was often that we shared during or after having talked about the current book that we were studying our concerns, joys and prayer requests. 

I had longed for that group after many who were in it had moved away. I had sought other resources and even began a prayer time before church years ago. It worked for the time needed.

Today is the birthday of a friend who needed help controlling his addiction to alcohol. I spent nine months driving him around as he was without his license. We had a good time because we connected on many levels and had a fun relationship because of our strong belief in the power of redemption. I had started losing weight before he and I became working companions. If you haven't read my earlier posts, I was a Letter Carrier who was injured on the job. Since I could not perform fully, often I was found work like driving this fellow carrier. I had driven others in the past as some of the young men partied too hearty. 

So, in driving this particular person and giving him half my meals (lol) I became a much smaller person and a much more complete person in other ways. I learned how my food addiction and his alcohol addiction needed to be assuaged by emotional support of others. His AA buddies would call him and he was ever ready to give them time. 

I didn't say to him you are an alcoholic and I am a food-aholic but our day to day talk lead us to discover the real us. The person who needed care. Granted sometimes it was just me insisting on helping him in a way he thought he should control. Or telling him it was time to take a break or that we should go to lunch now. He was almost punishing himself for being in that situation by working continually. The situation was that he needed not only rides around the routes that he did but too and from work. He could not drive his children and had to let people know his vulnerabilities. He was a good listener as I had struggles with attitudes of others because of my limited duty at work. 

We both lost weight that year. I lost most of the eighty pounds and he lost his beer belly. We gained a friendship that has stood the test of time. We have a running joke because fear of not having the money that his family needed for running the household because he wasn't able to work overtime and his lawyer fees were taking it's toll he was going to go without lunch one day. I bought him lunch. Our joke is that I am in need of lunch and it is his turn to pay. Silly, isn't it. But a text to him on occasion means that I connect to one more of my supportive community. 

In making videos on YouTube many are drawn into the supportive community there. Now, our support can come from Facebook friends. Some of us have met in large Meet & Greets or other conferences. We can talk in personal messaging on these sites or spend a weekend hanging at the conferences. I have a conference to go to next month in Phoenix and look forward to rooming with a new friend in the weight loss community.

 We can share experiences and build each other up in our communities. We can get the help we need when we feel like there is no hope. Remember that we are here for a higher purpose that is to befriend be friends. 

How do you find support? Have you had weight loss surgery? Are you going through the process and hope to have surgery this year? May you find a connection that works for you. 

#RNY #gastric #bypass #transfer #addictions #supportive #community #Facebook #alcohol #surgery

Semper Fi

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My eldest grandson is a Marine. He has begun his second year this July.

All day, I think of him. I wish he was close so I can hug him. I know he needed to grow up. I could not do what he did. I could not go through basic training.

Today is a year after my brother Gary succumbed to cancer at 3:18 in the morning. I have thought of him all day. I think oh yeah, almost home, going past where he learned to drive and was tested for his driver's license with me as his sponsor. I was five years older than Gary. His wife lived a good life with their three children and my brother and two jobs before he learned that he had cancer. Gary's cancer was in him so long and so deeply in his tissues and systems that there was no marker where it started. God was faithful to Gary and kept him going five years beyond when the cancer must have begun.

What a day. To be every faithful to those we love. A day of rain, a day of discussion with my youngest grandson about his week.

I picked up my youngest grandson from the Christian Camp Aldersgate in N Scituate RI. It is a great camp where children and teens learn what it means to be ever faithful to God. How Jesus Christ came for them. How the Holy Spirit works in them to show others their faith.

A day of talking and having fun at a steak restaurant where we shared a meal. He ate the majority of it. He and I were posting things on Instagram and Facebook before the meal came. It was a beautiful filet mignon cooked just right to melt in our mouth.

I looked at the salads and reminded myself that there was plenty of salad ingredients at my home. I needed to get my protein in and a filet is the best for me.

As I think of the journey that I am traveling since having weight loss surgery, I wonder can I be ever faithful? Or do I stray? How do I make sure I am following the path that I need to follow? I make sure that I take my vitamins and supplements. I make sure that I get my protein and water in. I do what I can by walking.

How do you solve the issue of your faith in yourself? Do you let your food addiction control you? Do you believe in yourself enough to be ever faithful? How have you changed? Are you pre-surgery or post surgery? What do you believe to be the one thing that you need to overcome to be faithful?

Please say what you want to say in the comments below. Thanks for your attention.

#Marine #grandson #proud #faith #growth #cancer #sibling #brother #friend #RNY #surgery #gastric #bypass

Just a Little Pitch for My Surgical Team & Hospital

 had my RNY gastric bypass surgery with Dr Pablo Gazmuri who has retired in May '12. My surgery was January 3 2008. Prior to surgery, I lost 81 pounds and met my surgical team in August '07 50 pounds lighter that I started in February.
I was so sad to see him leave. He was 65, so possibly it was a great move for him. I now have Dr Sheila Partridge a top notch surgeon in the field of bariatrics.
The hospital that I went to is Newton Wellesley Hospital Massachusetts. It is a great place with beds, chairs and gurneys the right size for the obese patient. The nursing staff was spectacular.
I am so pleased to have the ongoing care where I meet with a dietitian, nurse and the bariatric surgeon once a year now for life.
There are many opportunities to continue with the after care program in seminar format rather than small groups. It was something that I really liked when I was more able to make the meeting times. I think anyone would like this Center of Excellence pratice.

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Here is a poem that I have to think of when I am thinking of my family who have passed on. I miss them dearly.

Do not stand
at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds
that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the
morning's hush
I am the soft uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star that
shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there.
I did not die.

--- Anonymous

 

This is the week that my brother died. I will not weep for him on Friday. I will think of his lovely family and pray that they can get through the day. Last week, on July 17th, it would have been his 61st birthday. He died of cancer. I learned of this cancer and was able to go visit him last year in March. It was a good week. We shared our stories and got to meet his dear wife and connect with her on a far deeper level. In August, last year, I spent another week with her during the week that she had a memorial service for Gary.

 

How do you deal with the loss of love ones? Is it a time to share with family? Is it a time to emotionally eat? I am saddened this week and trying to keep my eating in check. I do not feel that I am an emotional eater.

 

Yet, when I look back to different experiences, we celebrated with food. Bought a new car when money was tight, celebrated by going out to eat. Had to move from a large home into a small apartment without my daughter's family who were sharing the home and the new grandson, go out to eat.

 

Okay, it may be that I eat emotionally but now that I have the tool of RNY gastric bypass, I cannot eat much. That large steak that I order either gets eaten over four days or shared with others. The next time you feel that you are going to eat something because your emotions are out of control, take a step back. Are you really hungry? What will give you the best nutrients and will satisfy your needs for food? If it is "bad" for you, can you limit the amount?

 

 

Weekend Ahead

How do you spend your time during the weekend? Do you have extra chores to do? Is it a fun weekend or a busy work around the house weekend for you?

This weekend, I have two parties to go to. It will be busy because I also need to get my grandson to camp in RI. I am thinking that it might be an opportunity to see my foster daughter as well. She works every other weekend.

Tonight, I hope to visit my friend who had total knee replacement done on Monday. She is at a rehab center where she will get all the OT and PT that she needs. Let's hope she wants company. I sent an email just before 5 pm.

I knew this would be a short entry but I want to keep up with the promise to myself to make a blog post more frequently.

I expect my husband home soon. His meatloaf is now done. I must go out and prepare the rest of the meal. Do I give him another salad? He has had four salads this week.

He has been preparing his own lunches these past two weeks. It is eerie that he does this because he did not take lunches up until about four years ago steady. I think about his fall and his knee surgery constantly this month. He was so incapacitated for most of the 12 weeks that he was home. I returned to work in September not being fully sure that he would do well with me away from him 9 hours a day. I had his meals already made and at the front of the fridge so he could get them without doing much bending or searching.

His fall came June 29 2009 at the theater where we saw a chick flick. It is crazy that this made him known on the floor that he went to a chick flick and was hurt. He is great laughing at that and did repeat it to the two women who came in for his OT and PT.

I just want to say that his control over his diabetes is so well done.

Can you wonder why I love this man?

I remember responding to a woman on fb who just had an accident. In the accident, she was not hurt very much just aches but her car was severely damaged. It reminded me of the accident that I called to speak to Bobby in the 70s when I was single. He came over and was very attentive. I was emotionally distraught then and for a long time following this accident because the person did not have to run into me. He was stopped at a stop sign. I was taking a left turn. I know now that I could not have been killed but I felt in my heart that it was a near miss with death back then. My car door was smashed in and I could not use it. Strange how I was able to exit the car on the right side over the console.

Oh yes, there have been other near misses. I took my husband's fall as a near miss. I did not know what caused him to fall. I saw him writhing in pain. Did he have a heart attack? What was going on? I just did not know. He was in so much pain that he was unable to speak at first.

So, I find myself starting this blog post as a joyful rendition of my weekend. I go on to get all sappy remembering two accidents and now I am thinking about L. and possibly seeing her again. She was two when I first met her. She is 29 now. I hope I can get to see her this weekend if not in two weeks.

Let us hope it is not a near miss.

Social Justice is My Passion

I thought that I should let you know more about me beyond weight loss. I have done many things in my life that I am very proud about. My job as a Letter Carrier helped me to see that there is poverty close to where I live. I help in ways to alleviate this by bringing produce to a family shelter in Framingham that my church collects on Sunday along with other members of our commission. I brought food and clothing over to a food pantry in Natick for many years from our church. We have collected for Thanksgiving baskets through an inner city church and bring food for food pantries around our area. Yes, food poverty is one thing that I can help alleviate.

But there are more to my passions than food. I care for other people. I care for people of color, of different sexual persuasions and for the downtrodden that are hurt by the loss due to homelessness, mental issues and teenage angst. Yes, we have people here in this country who are losing out on their best life because they are not getting sufficient nutrients, medical care and education.

Violence seems to be a way that some communicate their hurt and fear. I hope we have a significant curb to the gun violence in our country where young people have access to weapons to express their hurt and pain. Please take the time to read these two passages that I found on Facebook today. It lead me to want to blog about my passions today.



Alex Fraser wrote this and I found it on Facebook.


Dear George Zimmerman,

For the rest of your life you are now going to feel what its like to be a black man in America.

You will feel people stare at you. Judging you for what you think are unfair reasons. You will lose out on getting jobs for something you feel is outside of your control. You will believe yourself to be an upstanding citizen and wonder why people choose to not see that.

People will cross the street when they see you coming. They will call you hurtful names. It will drive you so insane some days that you'll want to scream at the top of your lungs. But you will have to wake up the next day, put on firm look and push through life.

I bet you never thought that by shooting a black male you'd end up inheriting all of his struggles.

Enjoy your "freedom."

Sincerely,

A black male who could've been Trayvon Martin




Here is another's thoughts help move me to strive for justice

Conflict transformation sometimes means starting the conversation about a conflict that is simmering in the darkness, out of view of many. So we are called to shine a light on hidden or tolerated injustice. As Jesus says in John 3:20, "Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed." And Matthew 5:14: "You are the Light of the world." So faithful discipleship means we raise awareness about issues that are hard to hear, especially because they are hard to hear- and always in a spirit of Love.





The passions that I have for social justice causes makes me a better person. I work for social justice in my church. I have been on many work teams to build strong community with people of other cultures, as well as doing all that is possible to keep up an inner city church through attending their services and homecoming events, and building a home for someone who lost their home to Hurricane Hugo years ago. Now, I hope that I encourage those who are in the weight loss community by my actions, my words and my support on the many social media from Youtube, Facebook, ObesityHelp and Sparkpeople.

I took courses to learn how I could learn where I did not know how to show tolerance for other people. I did not realize some of the privileges that I expect and therefore the prejudices that I had. I expect to go into a store and not be followed. I do not expect others to judge me by my color. When I was obese, I experienced being ignored by sales people. I lost about 100 pounds when I went to look for a tv stand that would hold new tv. A woman came right over to me when I entered the store. It was an eyeopening moment for me. Was that the store policy or just my perception of how I was treated more often than not?

What are your passions? What makes you go the extra mile? Where do you go that shows you want to expand community with others? Is your community small or growing?


#social #justice #passion #faith #church #tolerance #teach #judge #RNY #obesity #gastric #bypass #weightloss #surgery #freedom #unfair

Emotional Days Hit Hard

It was quite an emotional day for me yesterday. I think helping my friend whose injuries when abused as a child brought on all the nonsense of my early years back to me.
The night before her surgery several of us were sitting at a friend's home. She went on to retell us some of her story. It ain't pretty she would say a few times. Plus, I have only told you the tip of the iceberg.

We found out that we have the same surgeon. He doesn't recognize me each time that he sees me because I went from an obese woman to a slightly slender one.

For me, it is still in the distant future to get total knee replacement. I still am able to walk with cortisone masking the pain most of the time in my knees. I am fortunate in that I have learned to eat and not let my emotions get the better of me. I drank a protein RTD and had a Greek yogurt that I was able to eat while she was in pre-op. I was able to be with her before surgery and pray with her.

I called several hours later to find that she was in recovery and sleeping. Was it a long operation or was she just in need of sleep. When she did wake up she told me that she had trouble with nausea. I was able to get her personal effects to someone to bring them to her today. Now, her worry is that the rehab she wants is full. As she is on a tenuous thread emotionally for other reasons this can not be good. I pray that her situation improves before she is discharged into rehab. I was glad to hear that she was up and walking.

How did I cope with the strong emotions that I felt the last two days? One, I slept fitfully the night before I had to rise early and drive her to the hospital. Two, I became emotionally drained and went for a nap at 5 pm. Three, I slept until 11:15 pm. It was a good rest. Next, I learned from a person that I just recently got to know that her coworker had sexually attacked her. I knew that she was less than able and had recently had surgery for her shoulder. I had not advice except for stop him by informing on him. I was glad to hear that someone had intervened stopped the assault. Only to learn that the man had attempted again to abuse her. Closed "old boys" groups are offensive to let that kind of behavior go unpunished. I believe she is seeking justice today.

Pray for my friends. Pray for all that are going through sexual trauma of any kind.

Does sexual abuse lead to addictions? Does sexual abuse lead to seeing food as a way of protection against an abuser by gaining too much weight to be appealing? What are your thoughts on sexual abuse and excessive weight gain? How is it that some have a blind eye to sexual conduct of their peers that goes against the norm? How do you protect yourself? Do you feel guilty and do you think it is your fault? Has sexual abuse contributed to your obesity?

RNY 1/3/08 I have lost and I have gained.

This video has photos from quite a few years as well as some instructions given in the Surgical notebook, some of my weight loss postings and medical postings. If you pause the video at various spots you will be able to read the postings better. I know that this will take time. Enjoy.

Maintenance is Not Easy

I am writing this as I sit here on a summer afternoon. I had RNY surgery five and a half years ago. It was a cold and harsh winter while I recovered from surgery. I was glad that I did not have to go to work in the winter storms. There were more storms after I returned to work and there were emotional lows because of the change in postmasters as well as a very limited restrictive job offer. I left work May 2010.

I just posted a video where it shows that I had been at this weight that I am now in November 08. Yet, I have not been here at this weight as a steady as a rock maintenance RNYer. I have been up and I have been down. I was at my lowest when I returned from a five week trip in 2010. I am ten pounds higher than that weight. No, it is not a goal weight. I have not had a goal weight. I put that in a video once that I arrived at goal. It was just as an expression as in I hit the target or goal. I was happy. My clothes feel comfortable. I can pretty much buy what I want whether from second hand shops or brandnew clothing stores.

No, it is hard work. I think that I have those feelings that are never out of my head that I need to eat. Not that I can eat a whole lot. My stomach is so small. My nose runs when I eat. It is not a signal that I am full. It runs when I chew vitamins or swallow water. Yes, I think now that the nose runs that it should have kept me from eating all those excess amounts of food back in the day. But. no it did not start bothering me until a few months after surgery.

No, it is hard work because I am still a food addict. How can that be you may wonder?

I do not get hungry. I learned when I traveled in 2010 with a friend who has a normal appetite and stomach that my need to eat shows up as exhaustion. It does not manifest itself as a hunger pain or a need to eat. Now, I could go all day until the afternoon doing things around my apartment or out in the community without feeling the need to eat. Good you many say. Not good and here is the reason why. I need to eat to maintain. I lose better if I eat. I gain and lose in a never ending roller coaster ride. I eat on a schedule when I travel and I lose weight then. I eat when it occurs to me at home and I gain.

I try to set a schedule and in fact recommend that to people who are telling friends on Facebook that they have not lost and fear they have had their surgery for nothing. I fail to take my own advice. Is that the case with you?

I know that I do not gain from excess food as there isn't much that goes in. I gain because I do not have the protein that I need for my body. Only thing that I feel comfortable eating in the morning is part of a Fage 0% yogurt. I made cottage cheese pancakes yesterday to have something for breakfast and did not want them today. The salad with steak that I made mostly went in the trash because this one piece of steak felt too squishy. Did I even get in two ounces of steak?

A feeling that I am self-sabotaging this weight loss comes when I want something that I should not have. I think that I have magical feelings that I have lost so much that even if I ate small bites of a forbidden fruit that I would be okay. It is really the food addict in me that has this magical thinking. Yes, I lost almost 200 pounds but it can come back on if I keep up the magical thinking.

How do you work your maintenance? What works and does not work?




#RNY #sabotage #forbidden #excess #plan #weight #loss #vitamins #surgery #gastric #bypass #supportive #community #weightlosscommunity #YouTube #exhaustion #advice
#maintenance

Hard Questions

You might not know that I am sixty six. You might not know that I had many children living with us or just in my day care. I was in my thirties when I broke my wrist and decided to work at home. I started taking care of children as infants. One woman asked me to watch her older boys and lead me to pursue becoming a foster parent with my husband.

Years ago, I found out that a child now grown had searched for us and talked with her on the phone. I had been in another room when I heard my husband say, "I would know your voice anywhere!" Odd thing was that this child had left our foster home when she was two. She was nineteen. We had a rather quick conversation as she must have called before someone was showing up where she lived to give her a ride.

 We did talk of her months living with us and she shared something that disturbed me. She had gone back to her mom and later was placed in foster care again and again. I knew it was a rocky situation at home because I had seen her mom interact with my foster daughter more than her own each time she visited. I had witnessed a scene at a Friendly's where her mom an aunt and cousin were stopped before going to the cinema. Whatever bothered her mom had her threatening that S. would have to wait in car while the others saw the movie.

 

It was one of those times that I held my breath and did not confront her mom. It was not my place to do it. As her former foster mother, I was bound to keep her situation confidential. Just seeing her and hearing her voice those years later and when she was grown was enough. I know that we cannot cure all ills. It was my place and time to care for her when she was two. She only lived with us from April until the end of June.

 

Now on to the hard question; a few years ago, I wondered how another one of my foster daughters was doing. Her situation was different in that her mom had placed her and her brothers in foster care when her life situation became tenuous. Later, it was determined that because she was homeless her children should not have been placed in foster care. Yet, back then the immediate solution was foster care.

 

 Her mom loved her dearly and L. stayed with us for just a short time from a July to late October. I know that she was well loved because she was so happy with the other children that were part of my daycare. Yet, one odd thing happened when I tried to read books to her. She cried. I deduced that reading brought the closeness to mom and her hurt because she did not know where mom was to the forefront for L.

 

When I looked for her on Facebook and sent her a message, I did not have hopes that this grown woman would respond. I knew that in our hearts everyone in the family and friends missed her. I thought of her if not daily often.

 

I hold the children that I cared for in my heart and pray for them. Yes all of them.

 

It was a struggle to get our third daughter adopted emotionally because it took several years and was never a sure thing. I would answer questions posed by friends at church about her adoption with no good answer. I would hear from other foster moms that we have to treat fostering as a business and not let our hearts be too heavily invested.

 

 How I would wonder could I ever do that. Knowing that some of my "kids" from the many years that I taught Sunday School from the day care and the foster care I provided are successful gives me joy. They are mine just as the two daughters that I gave birth to our mine.

 

How to answer the hard question as to why I keep L in my heart all these years. Just as I was falling asleep my cell phone buzzed with a Facebook message. I will answer this on the computer as I have a long answer. I was too exhausted to answer it with any clarity last night at 1:30.  Did I search for L.? Wait here is the question: I probably asked u once before but I'm gonna ask again. What made u want to look for me again or did u just tumble across myname on fb?

 

I looked for her. I searched for her. Anytime I was in the state where she was born and raised, I had hopes of seeing her. As I worked at a Christian camp, I was hoping that she might go there. I prayed for her well being. I hoped that school went well for her. I wanted to get to know her. My heart is still with her. I love when she posts photos of herself and family.

 

Hard question for you maybe but for me, I will never lose the love I had for this woman when she lived with us more than twenty years ago.

 

What keeps your heart ticking? Do you have family or friends that you hold dear? Is it a new connection on Facebook that brings those people into your present life? Is it a good thing that we have social media?

 

Well, off to answer that hard question.

 

 

 

Question Just How do I add Photos to My Blog

This is a quick blog post as I am still fairly new to blogging. I do quick starts and end up forgetting about it. Yes, I entered three posts in the last three days. I hope to be more active.

Sleep Often Eludes Me

I have two issues involving sleep. I tend to be an insomniac and I have sleep apnea.

 I use a c-pap machine when I sleep at night. I rarely take naps but if I did, I would use my machine. I was alerted to the fact that I had sleep apnea in 2004. Since then, I have taken my breathing machine along with me on every trip. It was my one and only carry on for years.

I discovered the sleep apnea while working. I found that I would start yawning within minutes of leaving the post office parking lot on my fifty mile trip/run to several post offices to deliver Express Mail. I would find that even in the winter with both windows wide open, I was still so very tired. It was beyond just being tired. I was exhausted. I would stop at times just five minutes away from the post office, close my eyes for my ten minute break. I would find that walking around at the first post office and interacting there made me feel awake again.

Trying to discover what was bothering me, I made sure that I had no carbs prior to driving. I also would find myself falling asleep after eating lunch while trying to read a book or the newspaper.
In discussing this with friends, some suggested that the book was not interesting me. No, I said, I have various tastes in books and I was just exhausted for some odd reason once I allowed myself to stop.
Since, I never knew whether I would need to add to the circuit and when the run would start, my lunch time varied by as much an hour and a half. I had to get the Express Mail to the outlying post offices in a timely manner and ate lunch following delivering the items to the post offices.

All this to say, that I was getting confused to my need to find a solution to sudden exhaustion while driving. After all, I needed to drive for work. I had been injured  4 years earlier and if I did not get out, I answered the phones or did odd jobs found by the supervisors. Quite frequently, the supervisors would want me to do something beyond my capabilites. It was a struggle emotionally as well as physically.



Sleeping patterns were often disrupted during the early morning hours where I would rehash something said by a supervisor or try to settle family issues in my head. I new that I had insomnia but took the approach that it was something to do with emotional upheavels. Typical family issues and teen angst lead to many sleepless nights.

I was finding that I was gaining weight during these years even with various diets that I tried and lost weight. I was not sleeping well. My two significant injures plus loss of cartilage in my knees kept me from fully walking and getting my swim on. I had years of physical therapy for the injuries that only brought me so far. I discovered cortisone shots for my knees late in 2007 after my spring and summer of travels. I do not walk with a limp any more. Yet, last weekend at the Mashpee Pow Wow while descending the bleacher seats, I felt the bad knee when I overstepped my range of motion for my left knee getting down.

 My husband was discovered to have sleep apnea before me because he would wake with a sudden start as his heart was bothered by it. He at first did not want to use it. It is a cumbersome attachment.
A football star died of sleep apnea and from then on he kept it on all night. It is now something he uses nightly. He was taking a lot of naps the last few years and we discovered that he has Type 2 diabetes. It helps that he has two c-pap machines one by the couch and one in the bedroom.

I had my tests because I said that I had these sudden onsets of exhaustion to my PCP. I was on a bi-pap machine for years. It would shift and I would wake up with the sound as loud as a vac in my ear. I had to make myself wear it. Often, I would tell the sleep technician my issues with the mask. It seemed that it was not tight enough or something would bother me during the night. I went through many variations of the sleep masks and nose pillows. Now, after almost 9 years, I just put it on and try to relax.

My insomnia seemed to be abated with the load of work and walking while vacationing with friends or family. I still find myself going through long periods of time where I sleep maybe 4.5 hours per night. I just spent 11 days with family both down in DC for a week and the rest of the time at my daughter's home with my grandchildren. I went to bed and slept fairly well all those nights with an active lifestyle all day.

I ask about my insomnia with the sleep doctor. She told me to read a book on insomnia. My sister has insomnia and gets medicine, her throat was operated on and she wears a full mask encompassing her mouth with about 4.5 hours of sleep.

I know that mom had sleep issues because she would often be on my friends list when I logged on late at night. I believe her grandmother has sleep issues. My aunt had sleep issues as well.

Months after having RNY surgery January 2008, I started burping continually when I put on my sleep mask. It was irritating my husband. I said, I did not want to burp. Other issues as well, TMI! I began to think that I better call for a new sleep study. I was told that I should have a new sleep study for every 50 pounds weight loss. I went from a bi-pap with 17/11 pounds pressure to a c-pap of 11 pounds pressure. I am now only on 6 pounds pressure. It is so silent compared to the original machine! A bi-pap puts a positive air pressure in and a positive air pressure out. I just thought you might be wondering what the significance of these two types of  machines.

Since surgery, I do not frequently wake at night to eliminate urine. I drink a lot of water at night upwards of forty ounces most nights. It saves me from making bad food choices during the hours when I am alone.

What are your sleep habits like? Do you get enough sleep? Are you tired during the day for any amount of time? Do you find yourself nodding off when you get a chance to sit down?

My sleep apnea manifested itself with exhaustion about 10 am. It was not something that I would expect to happen at that early hour. That is the reason that I first looked to what I had for breakfast.

Do get tested for sleep apnea if you suspect that your sleep is abnormal. It saves lives. I know the weight loss community has a lot of people with sleep apnea related to excess weight. Yet, I saw many thin people in the clinic waiting for their appointments.

May you have a great night's sleep.


#insomnia #insomniac #sleep #hours #exhaustion #apnea #RNY #gastric #bypass #diabetes #frequent #waking #medicine #cpap #bipap #positive #air #pressure

I Will Post More Often

Yesterday, I posted about RNY and my alcohol use when traveling. Today, I am just going to randomly post what comes to mind. I am 66 so often many things come to mind. I was home cleaning house checking emails and Facebook today. I did not see news. I was shocked when my husband asked me what did I think about "that carrier" and I told him I did not know. He started saying that the Letter Carrier was texting his wife. My first thoughts were that he was injured because he was inatentive. No, the Letter Carrier died Saturday. It seems his inner core temperature was 102 degrees. I am so saddened to hear this news. I think of my friends every day. I remember telling one close friend to stay cool today on facebook. Little did I know that a man just about 30 minutes away from the town where I delivered mail died. My husband went on to say that our postmaster gave a Stand Up talk that let the carriers know that they needed to take care of themselves. It is scary because this is an after the fact talk. Really, what about all those years that they were punished for taking a few extra minutes. One supervisor asked me why I had come in from the route so late. I said there was an active thunderstorm and I stopped to let it pass. It was just fifteen minutes. I am emotionally connected to this job that I am retired from for over three years. I would be actively working had the "team" not come in to say that my work hours were reduced to one hour a day five days a week. BTW, doing work that I was unable to perform without getting hurt. I loved working and caring for my customers. I had a great rapport with the people from all around the world who moved into Framingham. I loved my job. Oh yes, I did. RNY related; I ate two poached eggs today for lunch. My supper was an ounce of steak, two pieces of roasted potato three cherries and a half cup of salad. Morning drink was a Premier Protein Shake. I think I am going to love that drink. It is not thick and it has 30 grams of protein.


#blogging #RNY #weight #loss #surgery #supportive #community #protein #shake #Letter #Carrier #emotions #retired #disability

RNY and Alcohol

I suppose I should preface this post with the fact that prior to surgery I felt that alcohol did not effect me. I mean, I was so heavy at way over 350 pounds that a regular drink did not give me that giddy feeling. In fact, so many times, I felt the expense was not worth it. Why bother if I did not feel tipsy. Well, with surgery making my stomach so much smaller and the weight I lost, I discovered that even a wine sample at Olive Garden was enough that my adult children were laughing at me! I know that I asked a few inappropriate questions that they would remind me of later. Now, I share a few sips of my husband's drink. That is if I go out to eat which is getting to be a rare occassion due his discovery following an emergency room visit that he has Type 2 Diabetes in February. We do not keep liquor to drink at home. I think that we have given away every Christmas gift of liquor that he has received. Now, they do not even make it home. He gives them away at work. So, why am I blogging about alcohol? It could become a secondary addiction for those of us who cannot eat to our heart's content! I have noticed many people getting so intoxicated that wobbling and slurring were part of the way they appeared. I will not name names. It is not something that I would do. Here is where things changed; I went away with my daughter in May to a conference in Vegas. I was feeling happy that she was able to go with me but stressed at her break up with her husband. I tried to put the stress out of my mind. I learned on Saturday while preparing for the evening function that her husband had made a false claim in a text which devastated me. I felt that I could not go to the event. I was literally crying my eyes out. He was doing this to hurt her but it hurt me too. Befroe that crying I had fun conversing by the pool with people , going to clubs. I enjoyed dancing and walking around seeing the bright lights. Yet, I noticed that I did not lose weight as I usually do with that much walking and dancing. In fact, my feet were swollen and my legs felt heavy and it took at least five days for my weight to return to the pre-Vegas weight. I enjoyed too many Cake Shots, Margaritas, Mimosas and wine. We did not have liquor in our hotel room but someone that was attending the same conference alerted us the first day about the liquor store across the street. I questioned what made me go along with the drinking while away? I questioned my sense of how I wanted to conduct myself. I also confess that I got that giddy feeling and though it was quick lived, I enjoyed it. I recently came back from eleven days travel with my daughter and grandchildren. I let my hair down as they say and had several drinks while in DC. I had them at the hotel restaurant where I would be going up to the room. In those eleven days, I drank far less than in the six days in Vegas. I also said no to drinking several more drinks. Yet, I still drank. I do not expect to give up drinking. I know this pouch cannot tolerate much alcohol. I enjoy a fine glass of wine at my evening meal when I travel to the UK and Europe. In fact, I have had the best tasting wine in these travels with wine connoisseurs. What is the solution? What do you do? Have you had any alcohol since your wls surgery? Do you limit yourself to one glass? How does it effect you? How do you interact with family? I know that I still make the best meals when I am going to serve family or friends. I have chose to make some that are gluten free to give people more of a choice at my church functions. My husband's A1C was excellent and he continues to do well with the meals I prepare. He has made healthy choices while I was off traveling. I want to make the best choices for myself. I am going to a conference in August. Let's see how I do then.