Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Here is a poem that I have to think of when I am thinking of my family who have passed on. I miss them dearly.

Do not stand
at my grave and weep.
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds
that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight
on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awake in the
morning's hush
I am the soft uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft star that
shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry
I am not there.
I did not die.

--- Anonymous

 

This is the week that my brother died. I will not weep for him on Friday. I will think of his lovely family and pray that they can get through the day. Last week, on July 17th, it would have been his 61st birthday. He died of cancer. I learned of this cancer and was able to go visit him last year in March. It was a good week. We shared our stories and got to meet his dear wife and connect with her on a far deeper level. In August, last year, I spent another week with her during the week that she had a memorial service for Gary.

 

How do you deal with the loss of love ones? Is it a time to share with family? Is it a time to emotionally eat? I am saddened this week and trying to keep my eating in check. I do not feel that I am an emotional eater.

 

Yet, when I look back to different experiences, we celebrated with food. Bought a new car when money was tight, celebrated by going out to eat. Had to move from a large home into a small apartment without my daughter's family who were sharing the home and the new grandson, go out to eat.

 

Okay, it may be that I eat emotionally but now that I have the tool of RNY gastric bypass, I cannot eat much. That large steak that I order either gets eaten over four days or shared with others. The next time you feel that you are going to eat something because your emotions are out of control, take a step back. Are you really hungry? What will give you the best nutrients and will satisfy your needs for food? If it is "bad" for you, can you limit the amount?